For The First Time
I never used to see the night as a time to cry my tears
I never used to look at love the way I’m seeing it now
I never sued to think that love could hurt this bad
But after what you did tome, I know I’ll never look at love the same way again
For the first time in my life I know I would never want to fall in love again
And for the first time in my life I know I’ll never cry this much again
The way I cried when you broke something so fragile, this heart of mine.
I never used to hear myself crying before the day I fell in love with you
I never used to feel such pain since you shattered my dreams to pieces, as infinite as the stars.
But I know this is the last time that I’ll cry for the first time,
since you broke this heart of mine.
He Used To Be Mine
I saw two lovers walking pass
As I sat under a tree, on the grass
He was holding her hand and she his
As he bent his head down to give her a kiss
Then he smiled at her as sweet as can be
The very same way he used to smile at me
Yes I know that boy he used to be mine
And he’s going to break her heart too, in a matter of time
It used to be me in that girl’s place
It used to be my hands caressing his face
That was a long time ago and this is now
I have to conceal my grief somehow
So I sat still as they walk pass me
Trying to ignore them and the pain futilely
Now wondering what the girl’s fate would turn out to be
Probably she’ll also end up broken hearted like me
Heart of This Fool
There he is acting so cool
Not knowing he stole the heart of this fool
He was wearing a the smile the same one that melted my heart
Not knowing that in it he holds the biggest part
Still I keep my distance afraid he might hear
The wild beating of my heart whenever he is near
I try to look composed and ignore my wobbly knees
As I momentarily ignored the pain and enjoyed the bliss
Then he stood up and walked away, not knowing still
That he has broken this girl’s heart, a great deal
Still he continues walking not seeming to care
Why should he anyway, when in his heart, I’m not there.
Please tell him
Please tell him that I love him
And that I really care
It doesn’t matter if he loves someone else
Or if in his heart I’m not there
Please tell him that I won’t mind
If he does not requite the love I show
It’s enough for me to be his friend
Although it will break my heart I know
Please tell him that I won’t be hoping
That someday he would love me too
And please tell him, my best friend
That I know he’s in love with you
Convincing Myself
Sitting still on my bed
I looked outside my window
Wishing for a star to fall
Gazing seriously at the moon as it glows
But to my dismay
No falling star was in sight
So I just made myself believe that there’s no pain
And that soon I’ll be alright
I’ll just try to convince myself
That I’m no longer in love with you
I’ll try to make you believe
My heart’s not breaking in two
No star is out tonight
Where I can make a wish on to
To convince myself and finally believe
That I’m already over you
Letting go
So many sleepless nights have passed me by
As I lie in bed while I silently cry
Mourning over my broken heart
That someone relentlessly tore apart
But there’s no use for the tears they say
For it can’t take the pain away
And it is, she, that he loves, not I
So he wouldn’t really care if I cry
So finally I brush the tears off my face
No more sound of tears no more trace
No I shall not cry, not again, my dear
As soon as the cracks of my broken heart disappear
But as long as the wound is fresh in my heart
My dreams will continue to be falling apart
And the tears, yes, it will continue to flow
Not unless I start letting go.
Give Me Back My Heart
He stole my heart away
One cold summer day
And I want to get it back you see
For the reason that he doesn’t love me
My heart is fragile I believe it’s true
That’s why I guess it easily broken in two
I was expecting for this to happen though
For he never did want my heart I know
But what can I do if with him my heart wants to stay
And there was no reason that I could make it go away
To someone else that would shelter it and love me too
What can I do if my heart wants to be with you?
So just give me back the pieces of my heart
So I can put it back together, make a brand new start
You need not explain why it broke, oh no
I just want to have it back so I can finally let go
A Dream Shattered, Just Like my Heart
You could never put back the pieces of my heart together again
And make it like it used to be back then
Now that it’s broken there’s nothing more that you can do
Except for breaking it further more in two
You could never rebuild the sandcastles for me
Not now when you have brought out the waves from the sea
Now it lies into crumbles, I view as the waves die down
Leaving me all alone with my own tears for me to drown
The dreams are all scattered in the wind as it blows
When or will it ever come true no one knows
Never, I guess, now that you have shattered it all apart
The very same way that you have done with my heart.
Leaving Behind
Leaving someone who doesn’t love me back is the hardest thing to do
Giving him my heart foolishly when I know he’ll just break it in two
But he can’t be blamed; it’s not his fault if he doesn’t feel the same
It just so happened he has given to someone else the love I want to claim
It hurts to say but there’s nothing more I can do now, I guess
I’ll put the pain, shattered dreams and my broken heart in a chest
I’ll lock it away and I’ll make sure to throw away the key
Leaving behind only the memory that I love someone who doesn’t love me
I know you love My Friend
I know you love my friend that I can see
But she doesn’t love you, same way that you don’t love me
I know you’re hurting just like I am too
‘Cause her heart like yours, cannot be swayed, there’s nothing I can do
No matter how much convincing I would do to her
The love for you ,inside her heart, is just not there
My friend is in love and certainly not with you
I guess your heart, like mine, is broken too
I know you love my friend, which I can see
But she doesn’t love you why don’t you just love me?
Comfort of my room
I can’t wait to go home and proceed to my bed
Cry the tears in my eyes that I couldn’t’ shed
Not right here where you can see me
I can’t cry now, got to show you I’m happy
I can’ wait to be in my bedroom and see
How my heart is doing inside of me
I can’t look now because you might find out
The secret I’ve been hiding and what it’s all about
And as you gracefully stand in front of me
I wear a disguise called “smile” that you see
And as you leave with her, I’m standing here alone
And I take off the mask, my sadness has shown
Walking in a fast pace almost running
Feelings so gloomy inside as if something in me is dying
I’ve go tot go home I was thinking as I walk by
Cause in my room, where I’m alone, I could finally cry
Missing You
When I heard them say that you were leaving
I suddenly felt my heart slowly breaking
I wanted to hate you for saying goodbye
But all I could do was break down and cry
Who was I anyway to stop you from bidding adieu?
Because God knows I don’t even mean anything to you
So with tears in my eyes I just watched you disappear
From my sight and from my life, so long my dear
Now there’s nothing left for me to do but pretend
That I’ll be fine even without you my friend
I have to go on with my life and make a new start
With or without the heart that you tore apart
Each night I’ll just ask the moon and pray
For it to watch over you in your sleep while you’re away
And I’ll make a wish on a friendly star or two
That you’d soon come back cause I’m already missing you
The boy Next door
I remember his name the boy next door
Yes I have known him long time before
You see, I never used to feel this way
Well, not for this guy anyway
But now there’s a feeling deep inside of me
A feeling of love that before wasn’t there to see
Now I’m afraid to look in his eyes
Cause he might be able to see through my disguise
So each day I just wear a mask to pretend
That I don’t love the boy next door, my friend
I guess I would just have to keep it inside
Until the pain in my heart eventually subside
You see Rio loves someone else I know
That’s why my heart is hurting so
But still I’ll love him, this boy next door
Even if the pain reaches way down the core
I just hope that someday
He’ll learn to love me too
The girl next door
Whose heart he broke in two
Let Me Know
Please tell me if you’re still coming back for me
So I wouldn’t have to wait in vain for all eternity
Please tell me if you’re completely letting go
Just so my heart, as early as now, would already know
Please tell me if you no longer have any love to spare
So I can start learning to act like I don’t even care
Please tell me if I should let go of this glimmer of hope
Accept that I’ve forever lost you and begin to cope
Please tell me, will you ask for my heart again
So I can start putting it back in one piece, like it was back then.
Like me
Maybe now it’s time for me to flee
Now that the truth is plain to see
I should’ve known it form the start
That I would never have your heart
A fool was I to think you also cared for me
And not see that friends are all we could be
But I swear I thought you loved me too
Guess I was wrong coz now she’s with you
So farewell my friend it’s time to go
Before the pain in my heart begins t grow
Guess there’s no more reason for me to stay
Now that you’ve given your heart away
Goodbye my friend I hope she’ll love you too
In the very same way that I had loved you
Do tell her to take care of you for me, ‘cause you see
It would break my heart to see you broken hearted like me
An Almost love
A chance long gone can never be retrieved
A love that never bloomed for it was deceived
An almost love that has vanished with the wind
Forgiven but not forgotten who unto you has sinned
A smile wiped away before it was even there
A box full of empty hopes you can no longer bear
A wishful thinking that you knew really was true
An unconfirmed feeling that he feels the same way too
A love unspoken which never left his lips
Until it died and wilted on his fingertips
A would have been, forever love, but then he walked away
No chance to have it flourished because he didn’t stay
A once upon a time ago with no happy ending
A love he decided, wasn’t meant to be, right in the beginning
The love that may have been the thing he’s always wanted
Is lost and gone forever to a chance that he has wasted.
April 17, 2008
I Cried When I Wrote This Poem
“Someday when you least expect it, someone will come along and steal your heart.
Someone who you love so much yet he broke it all apart”
These are the some of the lines of the poem I wrote last night in bed
When the tears I held for so long I finally began to shed
I didn’t know what else to do but write all the pain I feel on a paper
In the middle of the night my heart broke when I thought how much you love her
I felt my heart slowly crumbling into pieces like a sand castle
As the wind outside made the leaves of the tress begin to rustle
I cried last night when I wrote that poem, for my heart
The same heart that the boy I love carelessly tore apart
Then I searched for the brightest star through my window pane
And as I wished a tear fell and then it began to rain.
Letting Love Go
I know things may never get back to what they used to be
But I want you to know that you will always be a part of me
What we had was beautiful and I choose to remember it that way
I sincerely hope your wounds form the past would heal someday
I will remember all our laughter, tears with not one single regret
Even the painful memories I will hold in my heart and will never forget
I just hope you know I wanted so much to hold on to you
But you wanted to be set free, there was nothing can do
I just wish you'd keep my heart, please don't return it to me
It will just die inside my chest with you is where my heart wants to be
I set you free my love not because I love you less but so much more
And with one final kiss I mouth "I love you and Goodbye" and walk out the door.
The Book
I found a book under my bed
“A book for the broken hearted” it read
So I swiftly opened the book
And I got instantly hooked
I read it eagerly absorbing each word
Until my eyes, with tears, were blurred
What I read hit me straight in the heart
The same one that the boy I love tore apart
What was written hurt me more, cause it’s true
It really is hard to love someone who doesn’t love you
Until the last page was through I realized my friend
That no book I read can mend my heart again
Footprints in the Sand
Yesterday I walked hand in hand on this beach with you
The set of footprints on the sand were two
Funny now, there is but one, which is my own
Holding hands with thin air, Now I'm all alone
This was our kingdom, I your queen and you my King
The day you proclaimed your love and gave me this ring
But now our realm, like sandcastles, have already crumbled
The tears stinging my eyes, while for reasons I fumbled
Now reality is sinking in, you have left me
Our kingdom is now but just a sad memory
Now I walk the sand all alone with a tear in my eye
As a flock of seagulls cried with me as they fly
I look back at what was once, and will never be
I cried out your name, hoping, still no reply so I now flee
Throwing away the ring to the sea and holding my a broken heart in my hand
Now I know it will cease to be, just one set of footprints in the sand
A Word of Advice to Girls
I'm sure we have all gone through a particular time in our lives when we meet someone and find ourselves falling in love, so you give him your heart not even thinking if he truly wants it in the first place. You give him your whole world leaving nothing for yourself. Then one day he just leaves, taking with him the heart that you've given him along side your world. So now, there's nothing left of you, except for a dozen or two of shattered dreams and a bunch of excruciating memories and pain. You continue to exist but you don't live, how could you anyway when your whole world is gone. You are alive and yet you feel dead inside because he doesn't love you and he doesn't feel the same. You have given him too much that you left nothing for yourself. You loved him too much that it hurts.
What I'm trying to say to all girls out there is to think twice before you give your heart to someone. I'm not saying that you should deprive yourselves of the glory of falling in love and not allow anyone to come into your world. It's just that if you do, don't make him the most important part of it and make sure you don't love too much 'cause too much love can kill you. I know 'cause it killed me.
The Wind, It stung my Eye.....
It was rather a chilly and a windy day as I stand upon this cliff, over looking what it seems like a vastness of never ending sea. The wind is strong and cold against my skin that I was almost shivering. I felt numb, just standing there, and yet I was aware of the pain gnawing at my heart. The wind was howling, joining in with the tumult in my heart. My hair flew in all directions, wisps of them across my face while my tears were being swept away by the wind.
I gaze at the sea below me, the waves violent and wild as they lapped on the rocks.
And far in the distance, sea birds fly crying their most shrilling cry... as if mourning over my heart that died. I carry with me all your memories on this cliff. And now I throw them away letting it drown in the sea. And if by chance you see me and ask, why the tears ... the wind... it stung my eye.
Tug of War
I move forward and you move back, we go around in circles
We say so much and yet leave a million things unsaid
There is a wall between us that we somehow can't cross
Afraid what the other would think if one would let go
I push and you pull, a tug of war of emotions
Feeling and yet not wanting to feel, scared beyond belief
Emotions all mixed up, confusing both our fragile hearts
In this tug of war between what could be love and friendship
Who would ever win, no one knows
So I keep pushing and you keep pulling back
We never leave the spot where we first started
Going around in circles in this tug of war that we play.
Letter for my Best friend
Jason is in love, I know, I can see
But I’m afraid he is not with me
I can see the sparkle in his eye
While in mine, I see tears as I cry
His heart is beating I can hear it loudly
While mine is breaking so silently
He’s wearing a radiant smile on his face
I, on the other hand, wiped away my tears trace
Jason is in love and I am too
Me with him and him with you
So now you know that he loves you
It’s all right, just don’t break his heart in two
And please don’t ever make him cry
I’ll get mad at you if you even try
I’ll be fine, I’m used to this, you should know
You’re my best friend remember, that’s so
And even if you’re the one he loves, not me
You’re still my best friend, don’t you worry
That’s what friends are for, remember?
So we are still best of friends forever
At least I know he’s in good hands
So don’t hesitate I’ll understand
Don’t worry when you see me cry
And don’t you dare tell him the reason why
Nothing can ever break our friendship my friend
I know you love him too don’t pretend
And if by chance he breaks your heart in two
Remember you’re not alone, mines is broken too.
Untitled
I wish there was a way for me to heal your soul
put back together what she had broken and make you whole
but then again I could not mend what I did not break
only you can find the cure, although it's my heart that is at stake
you left me with no guarantee if things will ever be the same
'cause in your heart there is still an echo of her name
it tears me apart to know that you had to let me go
all because you couldn't love me with half the heart, I know
I wish she takes away the pain and give you what you lack
the other half of you you're missing, I wish she'd give your heart back
and maybe then you'll open your eyes and begin to see with your heart
maybe then you'd come back to me and we'll never be apart
but until your heart decides which way you really want to go
I want to say that I’ll be waiting until you're ready to let me know
I’ll be exactly where you left me just waiting here for you
keeping my fingers crossed that you'll let her go and say you're ready to love me too.
A Heart No Longer Mine
I look out to the beach, the waves splashing all around, destroying
sandcastles, erasing footprints in the sand and his name which I
have written deep and bold by the shore of the sea, locked inside a
heart. As I stood there in awe of the beauty of the sea, a gust of wind
blew caressing my hair, my cheek as if soothing my pain. The whispering
sound of the waves seemed to murmur his name repeatedly. I wanted to
scream out loud for the pain is just too much. I was hoping that
somehow, somewhere out there he would hear me. But instead I kept
silent, sobbed and just continued gazing at the vastness of the sad blue
sea, as I held a heart no longer mine, but his.
Winter in Summer
We met in June, 'twas just the start of summer
We talked for hours on end, do you still remember?
We danced all the way from July through September
Not knowing that soon our love would be just a dying ember
At the end of summer the love eventually died in your heart
I felt the shrilling chill of winter, my whole being torn apart
But the last 3 months I would never replace for an eternity
For they are good to last me a lifetime of your memory
Summer has gone and I have to brace myself for winter
I hope you'll come back to me, when in the cold, you heart finds no shelter.
Sea Burial
AS I WALKED ALONG THE SHORE
TWO LOVERS PASSED ME BY
THEY WERE WALKING HAND IN HAND
AND I JUST BEGAN TO CRY
I FELT THE TEARS FALLING
WHEN I THOUGHT OF YOU AND ME
CONSCIOUSLY WIPING THE TEARS AWAY
AFRAID SOMEONE MIGHT SEE
YOU AND I WERE ONLY FRIENDS
THAT WAS ALL WE'VE BEEN
ALTHOUGH I HATE TO ADMIT IT
THE TRUTH CAN EASLY BE SEEN
SITTING BY A ROCK
I HEAR THE SEAGULLS CRY
AS IF MOURNING OVER A HEART
THAT IS ABOUT TO DIE
NOW I LAY MY HEART IN A COFFIN
AND LET THE WAVES CARRY IT AWAY
I STOOD UP AND REMINDED MYSELF
MY HEART DIED THIS DAY
Each Passing Night
Each passing night I try to sleep and close my eyes
But memories of you keep haunting me until my heart cries
Each passing night I wonder if you stay awake and remember me
Do you think about the dreams we thought would last for eternity?
Each passing night I often wish on a star and pray
Hoping that you’d come back and you’d be knocking on my door someday
Each passing night I rewind our scenes and play it in my head
Referring to our love in past tense, knowing what we had is dead
Each passing night my heart dies over and over again
Craving for the love it felt from you way back then
Each passing night I break down and cry myself to sleep
Mourning for a love that was, which I no longer keep.
I'll Never Forget
I wonder when you close your eyes if you ever think of me
Or is it still the face of the past that you still see?
When the night creeps and you feel cold, do you wonder if I'm okay?
Do you somehow feel a gnawing pain in your heart, like I do each day?
When the sun shines and you look up to the clear bright sky?
Do you somehow miss me, do you somehow wanna cry?
When you hear the songs we sang do you somehow wish I was with you
Do you wish deep down inside that you didn’t break me in two
When you think of me as the sun sets, do tears fall down your face?
Or have I been completely erased in your mind with not a single trace?
If you do think of me I hope you will think of me with a smile
For every pain and heartache I had was all worth while
I want you to know that I will never ever forget
I loved you with all my heart and what we had I’ll never forget.